Dec 28, 2024 Johnathan, Jack, and I went to England this Christmas to scatter Kathy’s ashes, per her wishes. She told me, in anticipation of being cremated, that it made her happy to think that when the time came, it would mean the boys and I would need to go have an adventure together. The […]
Tattoos and Ashes
July 24, 2024 I was preparing to return to work this week, trying to diligently tie off loose ends and take care of some household business. Then I got sad this morning. It actually started last night. We gathered around the kitchen table, and just outside the window, a gentle summer shower was carrying on. […]
Grieflections—Missing Mom
June 18, 2024 Dear Johnathan and Jack, I sat at the stop sign a long time, but it wasn’t because I had to wait for any cross traffic. It was at the intersection as you’re leaving church. I’ve sat for an extra beat or two at that spot in the past while deciding whether to […]
The most real thing
May 15, 2024 Dear Johnathan and Jack, “Please don’t apologize.” That was my request to the high school student who had just presented his senior thesis. I was on the panel for his defense a few weeks ago on that Tuesday evening in late spring, and I was offering my feedback after he read his […]
Thank you, Jesus
May 12, 2024 Originally posted on Facebook “Thank you Jesus!” Those were Kathy’s words. I remember one evening a few years ago, we were eating dinner at our kitchen table when Kathy suddenly gasped, startling the boys and me into a momentary panic as we looked around wondering what happened. Then she exclaimed, “Oh thank […]
Kathy’s Passing Notes
May 9, 2024 This is a glimpse into some of the scenes I shared with Kathy near the end of her life: observations and reflections surrounding the tender vignettes of her final days, last words, and fleeting moments. Some are wrinkled with irony or folded with paradox, some teetering between gravity and levity, some flickering […]
The rest is yet to come: My Kathy story
August 9, 2024 It’s been three months. Or so I hear. It feels like it’s been one long day since Kathy died. I blinked and we were celebrating her life at the Memorial Service. I blinked again, and this Summer is surrendering to Fall, hardly putting up a fight. One way I’ve tried to slow […]
Benches and Trails
August 3, 2024 Dear Sons, Closure. We think it’s a good thing. You know, like when you or your brother step outside, and try to provide air conditioning to the whole neighborhood, and I encourage you from inside the house to quickly find closure by shutting the front door! The same is true emotionally—when you’re […]